


Nightly Confessions

by tragicallycute



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Confessions, Halp pls, I am bad at tags, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, he's only human jUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!, why does everyone and everything have it out for Tony???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9517175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragicallycute/pseuds/tragicallycute
Summary: In the murky depths of the night, a man sat in his desk chair. He wore a black wife-beater with jeans, a round blue light faintly shining through his tank top. The man stared at his fiddling hands, as if debating heavily on something. He took in a shaky breath that was meant to help stabilize him to the office chair, but it only made him feel worse when he heard such a clouded breathe leave past his lips. He finally clenched his hands together and leaned back in the chair as he finally came to his decision to follow through. "... Well, here it goes."---Aka, Tony is having some emotional issues that he can't shake off and decides to release some of them one late night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I just wanted to give a quick explanation about my work that I deleted. (if you didn't read it or have no idea what I'm talking about, you can go ahead and read my short story! Enjoy!) I deleted it for a few reasons
> 
> 1\. I was very unhappy with it. It was not the best that I could do and I didn't want to give you guys some crappy pieces of writing that end up being a waste of your time.  
> 2\. It's too busy for me right now to finish the challenge while keeping up!  
> 3\. I had no inspiration towards the prompts at the time equaling into really crappy short stories
> 
> But, I just wanted to give an explanation why I deleted it. I may end up going back and trying it, but it won't be for awhile if I do. Thanks for those who bookmarked it and wanted to keep up with it though, I really appreciate it! Okay, I'm officially done with my little explanation, enjoy the short story! :D

"People usually link specific nightmares or night terrors to certain events. The one event that traumatized you, made your life circle down the whirl pool into the hellhole it is now...

My nightmares are full of events.

They're full of the people I didn't even know I hurt with my weapons, the people that suffered at the hand of my 'good', the friends that I lost or, rather, the friends that decided I would be the one to be left, the terror of waking up to a car battery stuck to my chest because, for the first time in my whole life, I was completely and utterly dependent on something as small as a damned car battery. Do you have any idea how it feels? To do so many things for the good of people and realize that it hurts more than it ever does good? If you have, you understand to the atrocious point of nausea it puts me to. That sickening feeling that no medicine could help with because it's purely your own disgust for yourself.

I used to be ignorant of the harm I caused and, honestly, I was happy. I was happy with my success, happy to know I could practically bring any hot chick into my bed just by telling her my name, happy that I could be a spoiled fucking brat and no one could tell me I couldn't because I was the genius that made weapons to help protect America... And, now, I'm unhappy, but I have done much more good because I've realized I am not such a selfish man by heart. I hate the man I was before, the Tony Stark that everyone seems to know me by, but I admire his blissful ignorance despite the fact he thought he knew everything that this world could do.

My nightmares are full of faces as well.

The expressions of the faces in those nightmares vary. Some nights it's the crazed look in Obadiah's eyes when he tried to kill me to feed his power-hungry craze. Others, it's the look on Steve's face when he told me that Bucky was his friend and that's why he was fighting the battle with the people who were supposed to be his friends and comrades as well. That a single friend of his past was worth fucking up something like the Avengers and the trust he had from the people within it... Some can be as simple as random people that look at me in utter terror while their screams are muted. I can only guess the reason that their voices are muted is that last remaining sliver of ignorance that somehow survives and wants to believe the screams aren't because of me."

The scientist's eyes began to fill with tears, having to stop his words as he began to grow a huge lump in his throat. All these thoughts and emotions that he had kept within the caged steel bars of his heart and mind were finally coming out and it was hard. It was so hard to admit all of these feelings to anyone. Mainly, to himself. It's hard to tell yourself how much you truly hate yourself, both in the past and in the present, and that you feel as though your existence has never been good for the people around you and the people of this world. In these moments that Tony confessed all these feelings, he could only think of the wise words of his great friend, Bruce Banner. _'We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb.'_

Tony put a hand on his face, not uttering a sound as his soft tears rolled down his cheeks to the stubble on his face before he wiped it away, those dark brown eyes staring off into nothing as everything else he could spill from within his heart banged around in his head... But, he knew that he needed to keep some in so he would have hope that he could share everything within himself instead of feeling no other reason to keep going on because everything that the Tony Stark of today felt would be spilled and there would be nothing else of him other than his own chaos that made a few small dents in history. 

He looked back up, his hand sliding down his face to hang as he was hunched over in his chair before looking back up at the computer he was confessing everything to and couldn't help, but feel the side of his lips tug upwards because of how pathetic he looked with his red, puffy eyes and tears running down his face as he was hunched over in his lab desk chair in the most defeated way. How, instead of looking back to see gaze into another's eyes of acceptance of his calamity, he just saw the cold self-replicating screen of the scene before its camera lens. He eased out a small breath, it stiffly leaving his body in a very shallow and shaky manner before letting out the smallest, most melancholy laugh. "Yikes, I look awful.." He laughed more, leaning back in his chair as his lips turned into a tiny smile. "... I think that's enough for today. That's all I need to say about the bullshit that is-" He gestured towards himself. "this. Whatever **this** even is!" He laid his hand against his thigh, taking in a deep breath before evenly releasing it, wiping the rest of his tears away. "Okay, JARVIS, we're all good. End the video." And the screen turned to black.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there it is! I was just really inspired to make this short story about Tony and his crippling case of self hate, like quite a few of the Avengers seem to have. I don't know, I just like writing kinda sad, angsty pieces sometimes and I was really inspired to tonight at 1 in the morning! 
> 
> Anyway, if you liked it, leave me some kudos and comments because I absolutely love to get them!
> 
> Also, if you enjoyed this kinda style of short story with the whole video confession feel to it, let me know if you want me to make more out of it! I could write more versions of stuff kinda like this with the other Avengers or make a slightly longer story out of this short story! If you're interested in that, just comment about it and let me know! Thank you! :3


End file.
